How Much Microplastic Is In Your System?

Question 1?

The fuck kind of question is that?

Question 2?

Decaf soy latte... oh, wth, I'm feeling crazy today. I'll go half-caff!
Got any Mountain Dew?
Is it good coffee? Like, your idea of good coffee, or actual good coffee?

Question 3?

I've called my boss "mom"... way more times than I'd like to admit.
This is embarassing, but sometimes I sing in the shower. DON'T TELL A SOUL.
I.. like the smell of gasoline? And I'm wanted in five different counties.
I don't actually want you to have a nice day.

Question 4?

Eat everything except the soup? I can take it or leave it. Unless it's french onion.. then I'd send it back.
I ordered salad???? This isn't even mine?
Demand the chef personally apologize to me, leave a bad review.. and I don't care if it makes me sound like a ~bitch~ but I'm NOT TIPPING
I'll just... eat around it, I guess.

Question 5?

Happy Homemaker"? That's like, learning to cook, entertaining guests, and doing something with yarn. It's fine.
"Outdoor Enthusiast". I get to identify strange plants and track animals. I like animals more than people, anyway.
"Fine Artist" is fine by me! I don't really feel like writing, or painting... can I sing?
I chose "Fine Artist" because it will give me plenty of time to be alone and write my manifesto for taking down this creepy social system.

Question 6?

GOOD NIGHT mr.coconut
I was super into it when I was a kid but I think my neopets are dead now.
My mom said it was a capitalism simulator so she wouldn't let me play. Besides, I was more into Webkinz.
Is that still a thing? Wasn't it all, like, scientologist propaganda?