Thoughts and notes.

The current mood of Psshaw at www.imood.com



June 30, 2022


Okay, I'm really gonna vent now. In very simple language. This summer will not... behave. It especially feels hard because I'm on my period. Excuse the whinging. Might delete later.

I started out this downward slope by finding out that my ex-closest friend, who I had to step away from amicably because we weren't being good friends to each other, has been passing out unflattering screenshots of me to just... whoever, it seems like. If they can claim someone a "friend", it's apparently fair game. The problem is that they have shallow relationships with virtually everyone, so therefore everyone is their "friend".

They also screenshot everyone behind their backs, both from DMs and private accounts, so I always assumed they weren't really friends with those people. I thought we were close because they showed me these things and knew I wouldn't tattle on them. I returned the favor by never violating their trust the way they were violating everyone else's. I knew people would stop being friends with them if they knew. I thought that was a basic way to show care and investment.

Now I feel like they've been TRYING to find excuses to bring me up to people. And they only show off clips of me being grumpy. They never say what I would be grumpy about, they don't talk about how I'd caught them screenshotting me once already and that their behavior temporarily cost me a good friend. (They didn't even care that the friend was sad about losing me! They let us be mad at each other when they could have fixed it in a second by being honest! But that wasn't worth it because that would mean admitting they gossipped!) They even complained to their partner and friends that they deserve my trust, that they did "everything right". They seem to think being nice to someone's face is all you have to do.

Our mutual friends who know what went down shake their heads, but know they can't be argued with. They actually seemed to take pleasure in informing me that people agreed with them. But... we know what they're leaving out. Even their own partner didn't know that they'd betrayed us.

I was so surprised to find out they would act this way. It shocked me to hear that someone who usually claimed to agree with me would say things this selfish and childish. It feels like I was talking to a fake version of a person for almost a decade.

After I ended the friendship, we had a nice (I thought) talk and I had made it clear multiple times that I was open to talk about their unresolved feelings on the matter. Instead, they said they didn't feel like it... and went off to spread the screenshots. When I found out and confronted them about it, they didn't even bother apologizing anymore. "I was only sharing the things that confused and upset me". None of us understand why that makes it okay. If they were actually confused, they could ask me to clarify. Why drag more people into it and make them think I'm just mean or crazy? I could share a lot of things that "confused and upset" me about them, but I have basic restraint.

So... yeah, I cried a lot that week. It felt like I'd found out they wouldn't piss on me if I was on fire. I don't understand how we could go from being so close to them being so cruel. We never even got to have a real argument. I kept it as nice as I could and didn't blame them for anything or try to talk about it with anyone. In walking away, I knew I was losing friends and opportunities. And they openly liked that I was being "punished". But still they weren't happy with that, they had to make it worse. And they still talk like they're the victim, and they aren't even sorry. Whenever I try to talk to them, I get a customer service voice like I'm the problem. It feels like all they're worried about is coming off good and not giving any soundbites.

Through our whole relationship, you could see them taking care to say the most anodyne things and to get to know the most popular people who would give them the time of day. Even people they seemed to hate, they would act sweet toward. I always told them they act like a diplomat and a spy and a politician. They would always tell me they just do it naturally, not out of some calculation. Maybe. But it still hurts to be treated like that. I know they know right from wrong, because they would always ask me how I felt about them doing those wrong things. I always confirmed that, yeah, gossiping behind someone's back is bad.

So why? What's the goal?

I'm sad and disappointed and I don't feel safe. I didn't want to end it on malicious terms. I've been through this before (with a much worse person who outright lied about me) and I really didn't want to go through it again.

And then the blackout, which I lived though pretty cheerfully but I think still counts as a kind of misfortune.

And, y'know, gestures at the entirety of the Supreme Court. I feel like the whole country has lost any empathy for each other. We wanna pump out poor babies but then say the poor don't deserve anything. We want to roll back EPA regulations so gas companies can make more money and said babies can get asthma or whatever. Ohio lets you open carry without a permit, now. Cool. Let the states decide... to become inhospitable in whatever way they want.

Looking at what people say about it is a double-edged sword, because I do enjoy arguing online, but also it's a day much better spent if I don't. My usual style these days is to say something quippy and mute the thread so I don't have to read whatever stupid shit the MAGA grandma has to say next. It helps to know that a lot of the freaks I find saying ridiculously cruel things are just bored and trying to get a rise out of people, but diving into "politics all day, no art or jokes or nothin'" accounts make me feel some real filthy, dirty pity. It's like walking into a slum of people you can't help. I think we really fucked up making politics a sport. SPORTS should be a sport. People need more hobbies.

Turns out the duplex we bought doesn't have central A/C like it said it did, so that sucks. I still visited and mostly enjoyed myself, though putting your life in the hands of an ADHDer off their meds will make you want to tear your hair out. I got so tired of spending money on things that could be avoided with any forethought. So much time and food waste. When I got home I gave Colin a huge hug because I missed his efficiency. and dependability.

The vine that covers the back window in the dining room got tangled in an electrical wire, so Colin went to take that down, but in the process ripped up 99% of the vine. I don't know why, but gardening mishaps depress me more than most things. I think because of how preventable they are. I just look at the empty window and the view of the trash cans and the garage and get really, profoundly sad. It'll grow back next year, though.

I'm looking forward to the wedding party next month, but mostly just to get it over with. I'm stressed thinking about making sure people enjoy themselves and don't regret traveling up to Ohio. I'm stressed about how much money it costs. If my shitty side of the family brings up politics I might burst into tears in self-defense like those lizards that shoot blood from their eyes. I am glad I got to get plates made of palm leaf for it, though. Those are nifty as fuck.

I can't do Artfight this year, which would be a huge pick-me-up. But I shouldn't anyway, because I haven't been talking about my characters much this year. I feel very little drive to tell stories lately considering how hedonistic they are and how serious the world is. Plus Twitter is apparently straight-up hiding my art now. Which is actually soothing to know. It's easy to hide in other hobbies. I'm fucking killing it at reading German right now, I'd say firmly A2. Soon I should start practicing writing it.

I'm really fortunate that Colin is so invested in keeping me happy. He's always trying to do litte things to cheer me up. It also helps that I know these are all really silly first-world inconveniences. I have a really nice life, especially if the above pile is the worst I have to worry about. I just have to be a pissy little bitch about it sometimes. Then I can figure out how to help someone else, I guess.


Sorry if you got this far. Here's an image Dall-E gave me when I input "psshaw".

Watching: Succession season 3 for comfort, somehow.

March x, 2022


March x, 2022


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June 26, 2022


Haha, how about that Supreme Court decision, right? Yeah... it's understandable, people with ovaries are just brood sows after all. But not sows with guaranteed medical coverage. Haaaaaaaaa...

Apropos of absolutely nothing, I dropped $15 ($10 more than I usually like to spend) on a copy of Wobbledogs. And then I immediately clocked like six hours of bizarre geometric "dog" breeding.

My strategy so far is to put all my boring-ass dogs in the main pen and let them eat poop and corpses, while keeping my favorite tropical bug babies in a rainforest pen where the menu is mainly fruit to make them as bright as possible.

I want my dogs to be healthy enough to care for themselves, but now that I'm running down the list of achievements I think I gotta start making dogs with too few legs. Please forgive me in advance, Wobblegods.

Here's an import code that hopefully works for getting my favorite dog so far:

In other news, I opened for commissions last week and took on twice as many as I should have, so I'm going back to the draw mines right after posting this. Tschüss!

June 15, 2022

I'll give you something to black out about

Writing this real quick between power outages! If I die, tell the pint of brownie Ben & Jerry's in the freezer that I love it.

We got sent on a non-consenting glamping trip this week when AEPOhio decided to shut off power to large portions of the state. Without any warning at all. During the hottest days of the year. To put it somewhat flip: inconvenient.

They gave a lot of reasons, all so convoluted and yet specific that you end up too dizzy to decide what to feel. (At least in concept. In practice you mostly feel angry and hot.) I guess there was a storm a few days ago, but it didn't feel that bad? And somehow whatever damage came from THAT revealed issues with the grid that they uhhh didn't feel like working on until now, I guess. So for the good of the rest of the grid, it fell on the inner city of Columbus to go without A/C during all peak sunlight hours.

I know everyone with a baby, a sleep apnea mask or an insulin fridge was thrilled to be drafted.

Honestly, for a lot of the first day we just screwed around in town waiting for power to come back. (It did not.) It was wild seeing how far we could drive before the stop lights were lit again. A lot of people pointed out that AEP concentrated the blackouts to residential areas, but never affected most shopping centers or the wealthiest suburbs... plus there was a huge concert downtown that night, not to mention the AEP building itself being lit up just fine. Could be a coincidence, could not. Obviously people have been pointing it out pretty readily on social media.

Colin and I have been having fun figuring out how to rough it. Granted, for us this was quite the lay-up. We have a house with a yard, no terribly delicate people or animals, and Colin really enjoys planning 3 steps ahead and thinking about short-term survival situations. It's weird, you hear about preppers stockpiling toys they don't even know how to use... Colin will give me a well-reasoned 5-point excuse to buy the simplest, most efficient-per-dollar model of [REDACTED] he can find because he knows he won't take the time to maintenance it.

First thing that came out was the portable solar battery he bought last year, and I was like, sweet! So we can keep the fridge going! I would not be reminded until hours later, as we started to realize that this was no ordinary 1-4 hour blackout, that that was never feasible. Turns out fridges use a TON of wattage and the little guy we have is better-suited to fans and phones.

And my phone mattered a lot, because somehow mine was the only service provider that still worked. So it became my job to check Twitter and Reddit for updates. Just like I would in the gay socialist space commune!

So anyway, we couldn't cook that night but it was fine since we ate out somewhere air-conditoned anyway. I was really bummed about the possibility of losing all the food in the fridge, but eventually we were able to secure some bags of ice to stuff in there. I remembered something about standing water helping, so I filled the bath and sink with water, and Colin moved his bed to the basement where it was hella cooler. The cats all slept with him, awwww.

I stayed upstairs because I don't retain heat anyway, and also I didn't want to wake up with a silverfish in my nose.

SO TODAY I get up, sit with a cup of water and a book on the couch, basically settle in for another sweltering day. And at fucking 9AM on the dot, the power comes back on.

Everyone online seemed skeptical this was over-- projections were for "11:59PM Thursday", gee-- so we hurry up and start laundry and take warm showers and go out to buy a box fan. Colin hooks it up to the solar battery and everyone just lays in front of it for awhile, haha.

We also finally visited the old diner on the corner and it was... interesting? Definitely disorganized. The only staff were two older ladies and whoever was in the kitchen. We had to sign ourselves in to be seated on a yellow office pad, and Colin gave his drink order to both women who both walked away without asking mine, haha. They seemed very confused and too wiped out to communicate. Pancakes were good though, and I got the first glass of milk I'd had in 30 hours. Withdrawals abated.

Annnnnd right as we're waiting to pay, the POS system goes down. I heard "I want to cry" more than once. Our bill was like $28.50, and I had exactly $28 on me, plus a handful of change... saddest tip I've ever given, but amazing serendipity otherwise. ALWAYS CARRY CASH! (And quarters, in case you meet a gumball machine.)

So we go home, find out the dryer didn't complete the cycle, sleep in front of the fan, and later I wake up to move the solar panel out of the shadow of the house. As the sun starts to set, it actually feels cooler in the shade outside than in the house. I get out a McSweeney's Quarterly and hang out in the back, getting bit by mosquitoes. Then I spray myself down and they just climb up my shorts to bite my ass. Thanks. Nice otherwise, though.

Colin comes out with his Vonnegut collection, and we decide to try to cook a dehydrated meal in a pot on the grill. But while we're reading, the flame gets blown out and we don't notice. And there's rice in this soup.

And I mean, it's still pretty good soup, but you only need so much crunch. We soldier through it, but after awhile we decide to fold our leftovers together in the fridge. And just as Colin's putting it away, at the power rumbles back on. 8 P-frickin'-M.

I know I sound exhausted writing this, but it was hilarious. I honestly had fun. I never (personally) felt in danger and I'd do it again WITH A DAY'S WARNING TO NOT BUY GROCERIES RIGHT BEFORE... Collecting and rationing resources is really fun, honestly.

AEP is saying this might be the end of the interruptions! They're gonna have a lot of spoiled food and medicine and health and lost work claims to sort through, as they fucking should. I'm sure the long hard process of sending denial notices will make their lobbied monopoly on the Columbus area nearly .002% more burdensome.

And now Colin's looking into buying a low-wattage mini freezer.

May 19, 2022

So how much would it cost to lease this aquarium

We went to the zoo today! I didn't take a lotta pictures (mixed blessing because cropping/uploading takes 4ever) but lemme dump a couple nice views on ya.

I love the habitats with water features so much... I mean, I would live here.

Zoo enclosures in general are so interesting in terms of aesthetics, enrichment and logistics. I might wanna try to design some. They had a HUGE sprawling African savannah area I don't remember seeing before that was just breathtaking, full of giraffes and zebras and ostriches... and some (fake, unfortunately) termite mounds! I love seeing the animals have tons of space and love put into their exhibits. And cool ravines and moats to keep them from eating you, ha.

There was also a new sea lion exhibit! And an "encounters" area that was themed around animals living in human spaces, which honestly I found really uncomfortable. Something extra depressing about a possum sleeping in a turned-over trash can in a room decorated to look like an office.

These sandcats seemed to being doing okay though, basically living in a cat cafe but without having to get touched all the time.

Watching: THE CIRCLE SEASON FOUR... They producers are definitely running out of steam at this point (they just made them do a running contest?), but it's still fun. So far I like Bru the best, though I'll be kinda surprised if he wins. I also liked Yu-Ling a lot until she started pulling this "oh gosh I feel so bad for betraying you, how could this happen?? Why didn't anyone stop me???" thing. GROSS...

May 6, 2022


Here's an idea: What if I started putting my art on here?

I've put together a rudimentary gallery page, starting with a drawing that I have no immediate plans to post anywhere else. If you're reading this: congrats on being in on the secret. >:3c

I've always liked the idea of a gallery page, but I don't like how most people organize theirs (too much clicking and backspacing, too often lacking fun descriptions or useful sorting mechanisms) and then there's the matter of uploading all my previous art... what an exhausting concept. But I'm going to try to avoid both of those pitfalls. Until further notice, I'm just going to try uploading new stuff here first!


Fun new site formatting challenge!!
I could make a god damn art maze if I wanted to
New reason for people to check my page regularly
Social media has gotten much less rewarding, not to mention that no one on earth is interested in how much I want to talk about German language and culture right now
Me trying to write in German on Twitter while still being at A1.5 level is a recipe for embarrassment, actually
My brain badly needs a detox. I need to remember how to draw the way I like to draw: slower, and better!
Posting things here first will give me time to find errors before posting them anywhere else.

I have no idea how well I'll stick to this or how long this experiment will last, but I think it'll be very good for me to try. Fingers crossed!

Listening to: Eisbrecher's Liebe Macht Monster. God this album rules. Eisbrecher writes such badass "divorce music". I love how like half the songs are just about being mad.

May 1, 2022


Guess what! I did something cool again, so it's time for another B L O G P O S T

We finally made it to the Oddities and Curiosities Expo! After wanting to for years and getting cock-blocked by scheduling and Covid, we can now say we've officially paid to look at a bunch of cool dead shit.

We arrived just a while after it opened (which I recommend since the line to get in as we were leaving was three times longer). One thing we noticed right away was the demographics of the crowd. Within the first 5 minutes, we got to observe all the classic mall goth staples-- cars with quippy bumper stickers and Nightmare Before Christmas decals, (p)leather boots and bat wing backpacks, very creative makeup or none at all. And every, I mean every dude over 40 was shaved and tatted-up with a scraggly beard.

In retrospect, it was both a mistake and a cultural olive branch for me to wear a black t-shirt to this. I think I've seen more color at an Amish charcoal stand.

We walked amongst whole multi-generational families of edgelords and Hot Topic loyalty card holders. But mostly couples! A great place for a date, honestly, cos there's lots of avenues for conversation. And the people-watching is of course top-notch.

The Expo was bigger than we expected! Comparable to a mid-size dealer's den at an anime con. There was a treasure trove of cool vendors-- from naturalistic mounts of exotic animals (how long have they been trying to sell that hippo?) to silly takes on common North American pests, to fantasy sculpture to handmade crafts and jewelry to antiques and anatomical models. Even some vintage-style "circus freak" posters that I thought were pretty nifty.

It was especially fun watching people walk around with stuff like flying squirrels and human spine replicas and wondering where they planned to put it.

Though, honestly... Can I vent a little? Of course I can, it's my blog.

I wish "oddity" didn't turn into "Halloween" so quickly in people's minds. Medical stuff I get, history I get, animals and anatomy I get. Herbs and witchcraft supplies I get. But pop culture is, like, the opposite of an oddity. It's common as dirt. And will people ever get tired of all the frickin' coffin shapes? I'd love to see more military-themed curio. More old photos (without a movie monster painted into them). Or cars, or weird plants... maybe a bakery recreating interesting Victorian desserts or something, as long as it doesn't just have a bat spray-painted on it. Something that actually makes you... curious? Less self-styling, more adventure. More strange, less "🕸🎃️strang️e🦇⚰️!!!!"

I think decorating for 24/7/365 Halloween takes a genuine genius to pull off correctly. Thanks to cheap synthetic materials and a de-emphasis on quality, modern "dark stuff" enthusiasts have to dodge a lot of cynical mass-produced ephemera. ...aaaand a lot of them seem to cope with that by decorating by pure impulse. We noticed there was always a big crowd around the booths selling poorly-rendered pop culture references, serial killer merch (picture someone worshipping a celebrity with lead poisoning while somehow feeling superior about it) and anything with a pentagram slapped on it. It's hard to imagine walking into a supposedly "creepy" home and feeling any sense of atmosphere with a bunch of tabloid-level junk looking back at you.

And frankly, yeah, even taxidermy gets be made into some questionably worthless stuff. Like, I have trouble imagining who would actually drop several hundo on a chicken head stuck in a takeout box full of old noodles?? Or at least someone who wouldn't regret it later.

(Obviously everyone has their own taste and that's beautiful, but I actually do need someone to explain that one to me.)

Our friends had sent us pictures from the Detroit expo last year, and I recognized a lot of vendors here! Makes sense, considering our states border each other. I wonder how different the expos down south get? There were already tons of gator heads and bowls of uhhh turtle paws? Lots of turtle pieces scattered all over the place. It was fun seeing all the rummage bins of animal parts.

We found one dealer that dyed some fox(???) pelts different colors, but it also looked like they cut off the tails to sell separately. RUDE...

All the loose tails flying around had me remembering when kids in school would wear raccoon tail keychains on their hips for a while? I think it was scene fashion-adjacent. Years later I still can't decide if I think that's cool or not. Maybe I should have picked one up.

I think I recognized the zombie-lookin' heads from Detroit! Really cool idea, I like how the white eyes are creepy but in a sort-of "natural" way? But now I'm curious to see some other colors/patterns!

I was really taken with the expressiveness of these but kinda turned off by the mummified tongues, haha. Cool stuff.

I'm still obsessed with these li'l legs! They look perfectly lifelike! Not sure where I'd put them, but I do still think about them and I hope I see more like them again. Really good simple appreciation of form.

I was also really into these insect mounts! You don't usually see this amount of effort (AND COLOR!!!) put in to displaying bugs. If I see these again I'm definitely going to take a closer look and consider getting one. This booth also had a lot of cool dioramas involving mole skeletons in cute environments and driving aiships and stuff?? Clearly lots of love in these pieces. And it was really neat seeing how shovel-like their hands are, even down to the bone.

Okay, so what did I buy.

COOL FIND #1: A booth selling old bubblegum cards! I almost screamed when I saw they had a box of Little Shop of Horrors ones! I never thought I'd see these, so I bought 3 packs... and one for the Beetlejuice animated series which was also cute... and a green syringe pen just for funsies... ugh, I feel so taken advantage of.

Obviously Colin ate the 30-year-old gum.

COOLEST FIND: While flipping through a bunch of pelts, we uncovered A WHOLE LYNX???

It looks like someone was hoping to make a mount-grade pelt but failed! It still had paws (rare!!) but one front paw had two toes hanging on by a thread (and outside the bag in this photo), and one back leg was torn lengthwise all the way up. There are small holes in the skin, one armpit is totally hairless, and the whiskers and claws look ground down. But I don't mind! The tears are easy to sew up and the other flaws aren't really visible unless you look for them.

Apparently cats have thin skin, which must be hard to tan. So getting a perfect pelt would have cost at least three times what I paid for it. SUCH a cool catch! I knew within minutes of walking away from it that I was gonna wanna circle back and get it, haha.

Here's one paw I sewed back together. Currently it's chilling with me in the living room while I work on it. I love these giant paws so much... I gotta figure out how I want to display it. Personally I think a pelt split down the middle is more convenient, but it seems like higher-quality pelts don't do that, so I'm reluctant to cut mine. So now I just have this cool, dust-smelling cat tube to fold up like a sweater.

After we left the Expo, we also stopped by the Rabbit Show. We make so many different shapes of bunny. I think my favorites are the Tan breed (not pictured). We saw one get its face stuck in a cardboard ring (indeed pictured).

Speaking of bunnies! Someday I'd like to take one of the Expo's jackalope taxidermy classes, too. But they only offered a duckling project this year, which... I don't think I would enjoy. And god, I want a jackalope but it's weirdly hard to find a good one. I think it might depend on what kind of rabbit you use, cos I'd prefer a more wild look since they're more of a hunter's legend. I wanna try my hand at this and see firsthand what makes mounting rabbits so tricky.

Watching: Videos by this Youtuber who plays short indie horror games. I'm on Who's Lila? right now. I like the look and gameplay and it's pretty funny listening to high school characters talk tulpas. Hoping the philosophy angle goes somewhere interesting!

Seeing the stuff people make in Game Jams has me kinda curious about game-making. Ruh-roh.

Eating: Graham crackers. How are graham crackers so good? I always forget how good they are. They're just... graham.

April 12, 2022

I shouldn't be blogging I have a dentist appointment in the morning

So the OC Art Swap concluded and I GOT A TREASURE...

Thank you Cadavre for this extremely in-character Fiend. I love these wispy brush strokes! AND THE WAY THEY DREW THE SHOES, WEW. I'd jump right back in if this game gets held a second time.

Also, amazing news: We've officially received a Nielsen survey in the mail. With the $2 and everything. Finally we know where those statistics come from: ME. Gosh, I hope I get jury duty next.

Watching: Anna to the Infinite Power. Considering the concept, it feels like a cozy book.

April 10, 2022

Ich lieg' seit Tagen auf Geröll

My Abbys (Abbies? Abbees?) finally hatched their first eggs... AND THEY ARE NOT GREAT!

I can't be mad at them, they're too cute. Just disappointed. I do like the idea of a white vipera secondary with a bright green tert, though...

So uhh, I posted something quick and obnoxious about Neocities on Tumblr, and the post got way further away from me than I expected it to. Like, several thousand notes further. And it's been really fun reading the tags people put in the reblogs.

> There's the zoomers who never conceived that this was a thing-- "What? You can build your OWN website?"-- and are intimidated by learning code-- "HTML is like math, right?" (No!!)

> Then there's the 30s-ish people who remember doing this as kids and are thrilled to find out there's a modern solution. They're so fun to watch reminisce!

> Obviously any time a post gets big there's a few users who forget they're talking to a real person when they respond to it. "Yeah well, this cool thing you're excited about doesn't solve MY problems--" thinking I'll be their therapist instead of kicking them in the nuts. And then: I kick them in the nuts.

> Then there's....????

I'm as confused as you. But my best guess is that lead poisoning is making a comeback, baby!

ANYWAY... so glad that the word's getting out! I've heard from a few people now who are genuinely really taken with the idea and are going to encourage their friends. I think carving out our own little easy-going niches online will be really good for creativity and mental health.

I've been having a hell of a time concentrating this week, and I think I can chalk it up to having so much happening at once.

I have until July to plan a wedding party. We don't get to plan parties a lot, so it's become pretty clear we wanna take this opportunity to do a lot of cool stuff. Years of having my birthday in July and a mom who likes to order from Oriental Trading catalogues has primed me to think "summer party = RAINFOREST", so I'm leaning toward bright colors on dark green and eco-friendly tableware. Colin is leaning toward trying to dress as a wizard and organizing a DnD game for his friends. I think the latter part of that is a great idea, since my family is huge but doesn't like to talk to outsiders much.

Man, but it's stressful feeling the clock run out. I'm going to head home for Easter and see if I can get basic stuff like tables and catering nailed out. Also, I think any excuse for a party should be an excuse to rent a cotton candy machine.

We saw Everything Everywhere All At Once the other night and loved it. Colin walked out saying it made him cry and that it made him feel like being a nicer person. I said my favorite character was the daughter and he thought that was alarming, haha. But what can I say, I loved seeing her act like an ostentatious brat at the weight of infinite knowledge. Because of course I would. Also her outfits ruled??

Only issue is that we saw it the night it came out at the Gateway. Sooo... everyone else was a scruffy college student in floral shirts and jean jackets. You know... "film fans". Which you would think would mean a respectful group viewing, but the couple that sat directly behind us babbled pretentiously through the whole goddamn thing. FAKE FILM FANS.

That bothered me way more than it should have (AKA I was tempted to make a comic about it). Anyway, note to self: don't see hyped-up A24 movies until after the crowd disspiates.

We also saw X earlier in the week and enjoyed it, but haha I don't think I could stomach that one again. Lots of sex, as you might expect! The characters were entertaining, so I was glad it took its time leading up to the gore. Felt like some threads were left hanging, but nothing too important. The sets were pretty nice, too.

Our friends moved in to the house and seem to be settling in well!! They have decorations on a vintage 70s theme already set up, which is the polar opposite of the way I do things (hoarding a pile of stuff I think is cool and resolving to hang it up someday). So far the only really concerning part of the house is the outlets nestled into the baseboards, which I guess is a workaround for old homes where the walls are made of things too sturdy to be cut into. Gonna have that looked at soon.

And just as I was typing this entry, they found the Easter basket we snuck in the car. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAA ENJOY YOUR CANDY BITCHES

Listening to: Alternating between Slaves' Are You Satisfied? and Viagra Boys' Welfare Jazz

March 18, 2022

Dusting off the dragons

It's spring!!! It's 70 degrees out and raining. My absolute favorite kind of weather. It's been awhile since I've felt this efforlessly chill. Chill has taken a lot of effort lately.

Last week we went to a friend's wedding in Florida. The Fort Lauderdale area is a shitshow, full of rude noveau-riche people who drive like they're jockeying for lifeboats on the Titanic. But our friends there are pretty cool, and we miss them. A lot of them are growing up, drinking less, and accomplishing cool things. We can not see them for years and they still feel cozy as hell.

I think I'm getting back into Flight Rising. I knew it was gonna happen sooner or later considering I was drawing Fritz and Zariya more, but it was gonna take a lot to get me to do daily clickables again, since a lot of what FR is good for is giving me concepts to play with on my own.

However: they really knocked it out of the park this time. And into my park. My awful, depraved, disgusting park.

Aberrations are making me go NUTS. There's so much story potential in a two-headed dragon. Plus, with that face shape, and the lanky body, and the vulturine fluff, and the dramatic determined breed disposition... They're tapping into a LOT of what makes Fiend so fun to work on. I think I have a new favorite dragon.

My first project was to turn this guy into an Abby:

(R.I.P. his silly little head bow, since Ancient breeds can't wear clothes... They should be allowed to wear head bows. Just saying.)

I'll work on getting him a primary gene that's dark enough to resemble the Poison he had originally, cos I liked how it contrasted. And then I got him a girlfriend!

I think they'll make fun babies. Aberrations are probably going to be pretty cheap once the hype wears off-- they're a common/treasure breed, which is a blessing and a curse for an enthusiast. So I can collect as many as I want! I also wanna get some with the Diamond primary (harlequin coloring!!! Different colored heads!!!!) and one with the Polypore tertiary (even though it kiiiinda bothers me that so few of the mushrooms tilt with the dragon's body).

Anyway. Very happy. Feel free to friend me on FR. I'm gonna go draw dumb stuff in my sketchbook and enjoy the evening.

Listening to: Junip's Fields

Eating: Two clementines-- in a ROW.

February 28, 2022

No I Won't Call It D-Town

A couple weeks ago I took a trip up to Detroit, which I am just finding the time to write about now. I'd never been, and it was a fuckin' blast. Just to touch on some highlights:


Our friends found a pretty cool AirBnB as a waystation. I guess the theme was "midcentury horny biker Satanist"? I'm talking sleek, quality furniture, bike zines from years of collecting (anyone familiar with Smut Butt? The distinguished motorcyclist's publication?), skulls with crystals n' junk, a record collection full of 70s zone-out hits, and a basement door you were discouraged to pick the padlock on.

They had some stereotypical art like exploitation film posters and Francis Bacon paintings and copies of American Psycho, but also some really interesting big canvases that suggested genuine appreciation and a lot of throw-around money.

Oh, and enough houseplants to make me feel nervous.

Overall we were just fascinated by the kind of guy who furnished this place. And who stationed two giant portraits of naked women overlooking a so-called "mattress" that felt like a slab of rock. I think that was the punishment bedroom.

Plants in the shower. I worry about them.

I had not seen this around town before! Not sure I wanna know what this is about.


In Michigan I met FOUR NEW CATS, each uniquely beautiful and weird:

I also got to check out some excellent artsy hubs in Ferndale and Clawson. I kinda spent my whole time in this (huge) record store checking the track lists on these tapes. Oh my god, if I lived around here I would be swapping them all the time.

I was surprised more people didn't put more work into the sleeve art. Maybe all the prettiest ones got grabbed first? I still love some of these names. Naming a mix is probably even more important than what you put on it.

And then I got to check out a portion of the DIA Museum! Here's some dudes whose body language I found interesting.

And the REAL treat: I didn't get any pictures unfortunately, but there's a park where the birds are really bold and will land on your hand if you offer seeds. Like 4 or 5 tufted woodpeckers had perched on my fingers before we left. They all seemed to ignore the little seeds looking for big fatty pieces of peanut.

I also fed a turkey, and in doing took care not to smell like fear.
Later, I got to feed me.

Please be nice about how much salmon I eat.

A++++ I feel like I saw so much but still missed out on a lot. Would absolutely come back when it's warmer. Oh my GOD Michigan is cold right now. Here in Columbus we're in the 40s half the time.

Watching: Nico's Weg...

February 11, 2022


I can't stop smiling today. There's a pop-up "skating rink" at the shopping center where you can rent skates for free and try ice skating! I've been kinda fixated on skating lately (trying to draw more fun physical stuff as opposed to story-based; wishing for more snow; rewatching Yuri!!! On Ice, which still rules; 2022 Winter Olympics) so I obviously begged Colin to go.

I haven't been skating since I was like 10 years old, and I don't remember being good at it! I was worried Colin wouldn't have fun-- we got our skates and he said "wow, only a single blade?"-- but he got his legs for it pretty fast. 15 minutes in, he was leading me around the rink and instructing me to stand "like you shit your pants".

He also ate shit a few times, and everyone enjoyed that. (The kids we were sharing the rink with offered to help, which was sweet but I think he would have preferred if they laughed with him.)

Anyway, that was a great way to start off errands. And kind of a workout, I even got warm enough to take off my coat! I kinda hope we can swing by again later, or find a real rink and see how it compares.

January 16, 2022

A blog post thrown from a speeding car

Hoo boy. Quick life updates:

- Colin and I are signing marriage papers on Thurday. For the insurance mainly, but also cos he's been extremely good to live with, I guess. I will not be taking his last name, though he's free to take mine.

- We're looking at buying a second house-- but for our friends? So that should be interesting.

- This week I hit a rich vein of hot new German music on Youtube, and right now I'm really enjoying this satirical rapper called Alligatoah. Hip-hop isn't usually my jam, but the songs are definitely groovy enough that I'm having fun listening to them over and over while learning the lyrics. He's also got a fantastich sense of humor and a pretty good voice-- all-around talented.

I found him through the "Nachbeben" (Aftershocks) video that just dropped. I LLLOVE the character he plays in this. Jealous I don't get to run around in a long coat playing evil Mr. Sandman.

- I read a Reddit comment that said you can practice being ambidextrous by using your non-dominant hand when brushing your teeth, so I've been doing that. Only choked on my toothbrush once so far!

January 4, 2022

She's got spirit

Tonight I tried to recreate a family brisket recipe and failed... well, not miserably, since it was edible and even tasty under certain home-cooked parameters, but it was not the taste I was aiming for.

The thing about cooking is: it's like chemistry. And I never took Chemistry in school, because it was an elective and I almost failed Physics. I am a maverick in the kitchen in the same way as a cowboy who squeezes a trigger into his waistband. My main mistake: the recipe called for regular brisket, but the grocery store only had corned brisket. I knew I was dooming myself from the get-go because I find corned beef's whole deal kind of nauseating, with its radioactive pinkness and uncomplicated salt profile... but oh god, when I unwrapped it and the brine felt like CORN SYRUP... Aaaahahahahaha ew no I mopped that up and covered it in onion powder like I was hiding a body in the woods.

I also bought fresh parsley, but Colin had put it in the cupboard instead of the fridge. RIP.

The green beans came out alright, though, even if I steamed them too long! Thankfully my chronically-overcooked childhood has made me pretty tolerant of limp vegetables. A recipe I found recommended "blooming" red pepper flakes in the oil, and that (plus a healthy amount of garlic) made those beans more addictive than the ones I had at Christmas.

Whew. It is not right for me to be this bad at food.

My Last.fm year-in-review came in! It's much less exciting than Spotify's, but if you like numbers, hey, it's got numbers. In 2021 I listened to a lot of "comfort food"-type music. I was honestly just looking to feel cool and stable. I leaned on Ben Folds a lot. Here's a li'l chart of my big albums of the year:


Watching: Big Fat Quiz of the Year 2021. I'm shocked at how much weird stuff I forgot happened in the last 12 months.

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My browser bookmarks are a black hole. Stuff I wanna check up on later:

Between Two Fires by Christopher buehlmann
Dissipatio H.G. (The Vanishing) by Guido Morselli

Lubezki's Roma

Childhood's End

July 2, 2001


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