IN THE DISTANT FUTURE OF 1999...
A GLOBAL FUEL SHORTAGE HAS RAVAGED CIVILIZATION.
INSTEAD OF GOING GREEN... WE WENT RED.

Blood Drive is, in my opinion, one of the fun-est programs ever put on TV. Campy, violent, creative, relentlessly horny (okay maybe not that part), risky, self-indulgent, stylish, bursting at the seams with memorable characters— and it plays ruthlessly into my weakness for fucked-up desert road trips!

It only lasted one season, because the SyFy Channel is a bastard and a tease who loves to greenlight great ideas just to show us what we could have had. But the showrunners packed so much incredible explosive genre fuckery into those 13 episodes! It's well-worth the price of a DVD. Which you can get on eBay, by the way!

“Ladies and Gentlemen, Bastards and Tramps, Bloodsuckers, Motherfuckers, Road Trash and Vamps, to the Queer and the Strange, in the crowd and on the stage, to the Violent, the Malevolent, and those seeking a grave: WELCOME HOME!”

Arthur Bailey is an idealistic cop, just trying to do some good from inside the corrupt LAPD. When he and his partner Christopher investigate the Blood Drive, they uncover a blood-splattered slaughter rally to kick off a high-octane batshit-crazy cross-country race to the death! The master of ceremonies is Julian Slink, an underhanded and overdressed host producing the show for art's sake (and for the ratings).

Arthur is forcibly conscripted into the Drive alongside Grace d'Argento, a cold-hearted killer who's still slightly less deranged than the other drivers. Grace and Arthur have to stay ahead in the race to save Grace's sister— and to keep their heads from exploding.

One reason I love this show is that the creators seemed to love it, too! The marketing featured some original writing, selling it on the fun style and dynamic characters. Most of it focused on Julian Slink. ▶︎ Official SyFy Page ▶︎ A recording and transcript of a complaint phone line set up for the show! ▶︎ A pretty terrible promotional coloring book! ▶︎ A collection of interviews with cast and crew! ▶︎ Interview with Colin Cunningham (Julian Slink) ▶︎ A playlist that really fits the mood of the show. ▶︎ A model of Grace's Camaro!

KILL COUNT

I'm always up for weird violent desert/road trip stories. They don't have to be good (and they usually aren't) because it just makes me happy to spend time in that world. The sun-bleached environments, the extreme autonomy and extreme helplessness of being in the middle of nowhere, the one-of-a-kind rest stops and dirt roads...
And of course, the dangers that lurk out there.

When I hear the word "adventure", I think of swords and dragons and children's programming. Road trips are modern adventures for people who are old enough to drive. They're less likely to dutifully circle back to a moral about love and friendship. They're more likely to have horror/thriller aspects and adult conversations, but with the hint of heightened reality that comes from driving away from the structure of a town or city. Weird stuff can happen— stuff that can only happen in the middle of unforgiving nowhere. And with no career or authority or trees to hide behind, you have to focus on who you are. Who the people around you are. It's a great space to build character in, figuratively and literally.

That's my favorite kind of horror: There's no question that something weird is happening. It is, and there's no help for miles. There's no easy solution— you can run, fight, philosophize and make jokes, negotiate, join in... maybe all of those things at once. So what are you going to do about it?